The Golden Goddess Of Kintsugi
Words written as a reminder to see the purpose in the pain.
Legend has it, in the ancient town of Kintsugi, many years ago, there was a woman who was made of pure, perfect gold. Her smile shone out like summer sunbeams, her hair cascaded down like a glistening golden waterfall splashing light in the eyes of all that dared marvel at her beauty. Her skin shimmered in the sunlight and glowed by the moonlight, even putting the constellations and the sparkling stars to shame. She was worshipped like a deity, she was seen as a paradigm of chastity and virtue, she was the absolute, an Aurelian alpha and omega, hallowed for her presence, power and purity. “A goddess!”, they would cry, “No! She is an angel from the heavens!”, “I disagree, surely a divine queen of the cosmos?!“ the townspeople would whip up whisper and gossip. These simmered tones and sizzling rumours would spin great yarns of her mystical origins but the true story remained shrouded in darkness because never a single word was uttered to her. In her presence, people would immediately silence, bow and clear a path whenever they saw her; such was the awe and reverence towards this ethereal being.
On one particularly beautiful day in Kintsugi, some particularly tragic news was unveiled. A little girl, tears streaming down her face, wailing, arms flailing came running up to the Goddess as she strolled through the town square. The Goddess knelt down and picked up the little girl holding her tight, through the tears the little girl cried ‘my father has died, he’s dead, he’s gone, please bring him back, please, Goddess!”.
Everyone gasped. “The little girl has touched the goddess! She’s speaking to the goddess! She’s getting blessed by the goddess!” Without a single care for the little girl’s strife, the people rushed and surrounded the Goddess, bombarding her with their own cries and shouts that burst with their sufferings:
“I’m heartbroken, I’m in so much pain, I do not know what to do, can you fix it?! Can you fix me?! Can you get rid of it? You are all-mighty after all, Goddess!”
“I’m trying to provide for all my family but I lost everything, help me, Goddess, can you give me your gold riches??”
“I’m totally lost in this life Goddess, there is no meaning to me, I am so sad and alone. Can I follow the path of the all-knowing Goddess?”
“Goddess, I have done so much wrong in my life! I have betrayed all those who love me. I am broken, you are whole and pure, you are perfect - only you can help me!”
More and more of the crowd gathered and shouted and gathered and shouted. The mayor of the town blustered through the crowd lambasting them, smacking away the reaching hands of the clamouring swarm.
“Stay back! Stay back!! This is our goddess!! Show some respect. She neither knows not of, nor cares for, your pathetic human ills and the pains of your pathetic little lives! Back you go!!”
The woman, unphased and unintimidated by the rousing hoards, lifted her golden glinting hand to the sky and immediately brought the crowd to silence.
“My dear Mayor, sadly you know not of whom you speak… and you, my good and grave people, you know not of whom you worship.
I feel your pain, I feel all your pain. I am so sorry you endure such hard times.”
She paused, feeling the visceral waves of emotions rolling off the crowds and crashing upon her from all around.
She continued,
“I too, have lost many loved ones, friends and dear family. To love, to war, to famine, to treachery and bad fortune.
I too, have lost riches, both hard-earned and ill-gotten.
I too, have let down my family and betrayed those closest to me.
I too, have had to defend myself against that same family and been betrayed by those closest to me.
I too, have been riddled with guilt and shame and anger and fury to the murkiest depths of my soul.
I too, have been so sad and alone at times, scrambling to find a path of meaning, screaming and yearning for purpose in this life.
I too, have been broken, broken in so many places and into so many pieces. Believe when I say it, I do feel your pain.”
The crowd were aghast, wide-eyed, mouths agawp, stunned at the Goddess’s revelations.
The little girl, undeterred, spoke again:
“So, you are just like us then? …But how did you become this Angel of Light? This golden Goddess from the heavens? The cosmic wonder we see before us now?”
Still in her arms, the Goddess turned to face the little girl.
She looked deeply into her eyes and into her soul, feeling the hurting, burning heart that lay beneath as if it were her own.
A single tear rolled down the Goddess’s face, a single honey-hued glint of light gleaming off both tear and her resplendent golden cheek.
We are not made to be unbreakable, my love. We are made to grow, to expand, to become greater than we once were. We cannot grow if we never break. To live in this world is to be tested by it. Sometimes the world tests us, sometimes it crushes us, and we break in places we didn't know existed. This can hurt greater than any pain we ever thought possible. When the world drowns us in darkness, we are forced to find our own light, our own source of self-love, our soul fire. It is this small but mighty flame that fuses with our pain, turning it to brilliant gold, a gold that gently fills and kisses the cracks of our suffered and broken soul, pulling our pieces back together once again. We can break, but we can never be defeated. From the pain greater than anything we’d ever known, we emerge stronger than we ever thought possible. We emerge wiser, softer. We become more beautiful because we are broken.”
The most delicate of silences followed. The girl paused, a lightly scrunched-up face of confusion was still chiselled from ear to ear.
“But I don’t understand,” she said. “How come you are made of this glorious gold, both inside and out?”
The Goddess still gazing deep into the small child’s eyes, replied, “Because, my love, I have been broken more times than the sun has risen above this earth and blessed the new day. My tears have run so wild they have filled up the rivers, lakes and oceans of the world many times over. My cries of sadness and pain have made the most savage beasts of this realm cower to cave and silence. The great fury and desperation with which I have slammed my fists down upon these lands, cursing them to their core, have caused hurricanes and earthquakes that have been felt for a thousand years. I have met so many devils in so many nightmares over so many eons that now you can only see me as a Goddess of dreams.
Every glimmer and ripple of gold is not something bestowed upon me from otherworldly powers, but has been a choice I have had to make. A choice of love over fear, light over darkness, feeling over emptiness, peace over madness, wholeness over division, healing over hurt, growth over decay, life over death.
Every horror, every tragedy, every agony is an opportunity, a challenge to love yourself enough to be greater than you were. A challenge to turn your pain into gold, to become stronger, wiser, softer, and more beautiful.
The secret is that with enough time and enough self-love there is nothing you cannot overcome, there is no limit to what and who you can become. Finding your own light is all that matters. If you can keep that flame burning no matter how flickering it might get, you will always be able to shimmer like the Gods and Goddesses you all are destined to be.”
The little girl was weeping. The mayor was weeping. The townspeople were weeping.
It was a beautiful day in Kintsugi, indeed.